Monday, August 15, 2011

One Year.

It has been 1 year since my family lost two amazing people...

On August 15th, 2010, my gramps died due to poor health. Two days later, on August 17th, my gram died. Probably of a broken heart. It was probably the toughest week of my life.

Even though it's been a year, it all still seems so fresh. There is still a hole in my heart that I'm afraid will never close. I think about them both every day and that hole aches every time. A large part of me is afraid that I will always feel this way. I wonder if that could be good or bad. If it always still hurts this much, I won't forget about them...

There are so many wonderful things that have happened in the past year that I wish they could have been apart of... my wedding and the birth of their beautiful granddaughter are probably two of the biggest. I especially hope that my gram saw that I wore her pearls at my wedding. They were the pearls that she wore for her wedding. I don't think anything has ever meant so much to me before. It was a huge honor. All I hope, is that no matter where they are, no matter what they are doing, that they some how know what's going on and can see these great events that are taking place within our family.

It's been an entire year of not going up north to visit them for holidays. Thanksgiving was the first major holiday after their deaths and I don't think I've ever felt so "out of whack." It felt so wrong to not be going to visit them. Holidays sort of seemed a little less special, a little less great without those visits.

And if they can see this...
I love you both so much. I would probably give anything to just give you both one more hug and to spend one more weekend in Squaw Lake, enjoying your stories, cooking and company.

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